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earthly

11 December 2021 - 00:41

<<--unravel * reintegrate-->>

I want to come back, for a moment at least, to tear some things down. Much of what I've written here was the fantasy world I was using to cope with my life, but for better or worse I have left that world behind.

A stranger on a park bench once pointed out to me that the first time you get your heart broken, it hurts the most. But as time goes on, subsequent heartbreaks take more out of you even though they're less painful. That feels relevant, although this paradigm shift was borne as much out of love as from heartbreak.

What changed in me is this: if there is a divine perspective where everything is okay, I don't care anymore, am not comforted by that, and in fact want nothing to do with it.

<<--unravel * reintegrate-->>